February 18, 2012

Lannis: The First Step...

I love tea. A lot. Maybe too much.

How much is too much? Well...

I started drinking tea too long ago back when I was working at Tim Hortons. The first time. (Read: about half my age ago.) Funny enough, I no longer like Tim Hortons’ tea... I prefer Red Rose.

It’s what the Queen drinks. <— Is this even true anymore? And I don’t just drink it. I consume it. One could measure it in buckets, but I prefer the metric system.

My so-normal-it’s-boring Brown Betty teapot holds one litre of water. This fills my ginormous mug almost twice. (I say almost, because the mug will actually hold more.) Why’s my mug so big? Because I drink it that fast.

Also? I’m too lazy to refill a teeny mug twenty times.

I’m not exaggerating. Buckets, remember?

And I don’t just drink it by quantity. I steep it. I let it sit a long time forever. Like, as long as it’s still lukewarm once milk is added, I’ll drink it.

When my life used to be more hectic (read: overrun with two-year-olds), I made myself a tea cosy to keep the teapot warm... because I was too busy to drink it all before it got cold in the pot, and reboiling the kettle to refill the teapot (and waste half a pot of tea in the interim) made me twitchy.

So, to recap: I will drink tea that has steeped for forty-five minutes or longer, but not cold tea.

For coffee drinkers out there, this is the tea-drinking equivalent of that figurative cup of coffee so strong it will allow a spoon to stand straight up.


Yes, I drink this. Yes, I drink it every day. Yes, I drink it plenty. At my tea-drinking height, I would fill my little one-litre Brown Betty five times a day.

For those of you with math skillz, that’s five litres.

Add to this that I stop drinking tea by one o’clock in the afternoon — I get up around 7am.

So five litres by 1pm.

With milk and Splenda, if you’re wondering. And yes, it’s a lot of Splenda in my half-litre-holding mug, but in a standard teacup of tea? Only one packet.

No, I don’t get jittery. No, I’m not a nice person if I haven’t had my morning tea.

Yes, yes, I know what you’re thinking, “That’s too much, Les, you’re going to cause yourself some health problems!”

In all honesty, at my yearly physical, the conversation with my doctor went like this:

Her: How much caffeine do you consume in a day?

Me: About five litres of tea.

Her: You mean cups.

Me: No, I mean litres.

Her: ...

Me: I like tea.

Her: Do you find you have to use the bathroom a lot?

Me: Sure. But everyone’s got to have their vice. I like tea.

Her: Well, if it becomes a problem, you know where to look first...

Uh huh. Yep. And guess what? It probably has affected my health, but not excessively, in my opinion (the details fall under TMI, and it’s linked with other issues... mostly motherhood-related. You’re welcome). My rule of 1pm is adjusted if I find it affects my sleeping. And currently my daily average only two pots (litres) of tea..

There’s just nothing like sitting on the front porch in the morning sunshine, with a hot mug of tea and a good book. Bliss, I tell you.

Tea! Tea! Tea! TEE-AH!

Nope, can’t live without it. God forbid we run out of tea bags, the world stops. Mr Lannis is always on the lookout, don’t worry. He’s been trained well, ha!

So... tell me... what’s your can’t-live-without consumable? We’re not talking Internet access, books, or music... I want to know what food or drink you should buy stock in so you can retire rich from your own purchases...


(Just don’t spill the tea.)

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.