December 31, 2011

Lannis: Procrastination Station

Okay, so. Things got lost in the shuffle this week--clearly. I was supposed to send this post to Sandi earlier in the week, and I’d thought I’d sent it... and well... erm... I didn’t.


So. Basically, we weren’t expecting there to be much in the way of online traffic here over the holidays, but if someone happened to find themselves wandering over due to extra time on their hands, here’re some silly places I go sometimes when I’m avoiding chores, being lazy, ignoring life... geez, this sentence clearly doesn’t want to finish itself...

Anyhow. Here’s a whack of linky dinks to keep you busy iffin’ you’re bored. I promise they’re mostly appropriate content. And hopefully you’ll get a chuckle from them, too.

Blogs and sites: — If you’re a Sci-Fi/Fantasy fan, this site features a variety of speculative fiction in its many forms, be it movies, books, TV, comics, whatever. A place for enthusiastic geeks to get together, think critically or squee all over, and enjoy the company of like minds. Myself, I go there for everything Wheel of Time, especially the Wheel of Time Reread by Leigh Butler. Check out the other read/reread/rewatch forums there - GRRM’s A Song of Ice and Fire Read; Malazan Reread; the Star Trek rewatches; and plenty more. Also, free fiction!

(It’s one of my favourite-est online places, not just by content, but due to the wonderful people I’ve met via its forums — some of whom have translated into real life friends.)

The Bloggess — Jenny Lawson cracks me up. She’s also questionably appropriate, but hilarious nonetheless (and Sandi’s linked to her before, so I wash my hands of culpability on this one. Ha!).

Post Secret — I’m addicted to Frank Warren’s community art project, where people anonymously send in homemade postcards proclaiming their secrets. So human.

Lovely Listing — Oddball finds in Real Estate. And they mean it.

ThxThxThx — Leah Dieterich's mother always told her to write thank you notes. So she does. To everything. ThxThxThx is her daily exercise in gratitude.

Dear Photograph — Take a photograph of a photograph and take a moment to remember.

Epbot — Geekery, girliness, and goofing off. Jen is fun, especially if you like Steampunk, craftiness, and Disney.


I Like Your Jacket — Receive a compliment, leave a compliment. It’s so simple!

Draw a Stickman — Just play along. It. Is. Awesome.

Google Pacman — Use your arrow keys to play the classic!

To watch:

Guy On A Buffalo — Exactly as it sounds. But way more cool — and more 1970s — than it sounds.

Nick Piteria, and his “One Man Disney Movie” Medley Video. If you’re a Disney fan, or have little Disney fans, they might want to see what this guy can do with his voice.

Mike Tompkin’s A Cappella Cover of Adele’s song Rolling In The Deep. Another talented young man.

More music: if you like Taio Cruz’s song Dynamite, McGill Dances for Cancer Research to that song, and every play donates money to their cause. Adorable, and well executed.

The best for last! Sandi might delete this link — profanities ahoy! — but Hannah Hart and her My Drunk Kitchen series makes me smile, so I’m sharing. Episode 6: Brunch is pretty clean, but my all-time favourite is Episode 4 - Not Easy, Bake Oven. Plenty of profanities. And I giggle like a fool. Every. Time.

And I can’t forget this! Hannah, when visiting Canada (yay!), made poutine. It’s also clean. Aside from drunkenness, of course.

Aaand that is all I’ve got. For now. (Or at least while Sandi wants things respectable. Heh.) Happy holidays! Take care, stay safe, and only good things in 2012!

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.

This time last year: Not So Clever Me

December 29, 2011

Project Grocery: More Meat

Because who can resist a good meat sale? I ask you.

I did not take the time (between eating various cuts of almost raw beefiness) to take a picture of our pre-Christmas grocery shop ($92.99), but made up for it by taking three bad shots of Tuesday's haul ($87.96), only one of which I'm posting.

So clearly I'm not making up for it at all.

Here's the thing, though: that's not two weeks worth of groceries. That's a shopping trip on Thursday and another on Tuesday, with our regular shop coming up this Saturday.

So - in a series of complicated math steps that you'll never hope to follow, unless you know basic addition - I've come up with this number: $180.95. That's the real Project Grocery number for this week, much as I may have tried to cleverly disguise my excesses by splitting them between two days.

That means that all the times I've been under budget this month have been washed away by Christmas.

Thanks a lot, Christmas [shakes fist]. I'll get you back for this.

Fortunately for me and my wallet, my mom made enough turkey soup yesterday to feed us all twice, plus lunches. So I'm hoping that on Saturday - our last grocery trip for 2011 - I can keep our spending down to around $25.96, which will keep us in the bounds of our Plan Bean budget for December.

But probably not within the bounds of reality.

December 28, 2011

The Four Days Of Christmas: Or, Pictures Of Meat With A Couple Of My Kids Thrown In So You Don't Think I'm A Bad Mom

Although it may seem that I've been somewhere without a computer again this year, in fact I've been gloriously, relaxingly here. Just here. Eating Doing stuff.

Christmas Eve:

Christmas Morning:

Christmas Afternoon:

Boxing Day:

Apparently, red meat is an essential part of our holidays, and if the kids happen to be around - hey, great. Red meat and crazy hair. And The Best Potatoes Ever Consumed By Me But Made By My Husband.

I hope you all had a Very Merry Christmas, even if you didn't get to have any of the potatoes.

And now, back to the real world.

See you tomorrow.

This time last year: I Miss My Computer

December 23, 2011

Christmas Shopping With The Three Year Old

So a month ago, Miss and I went Christmas shopping. Well, Miss went, and I accompanied.

Off we went to the Dollar Store, Miss with the not-so-bright, not-shiny-at-all toonie I gave her when she asked for shopping money tucked deep in her coat pocket.

She was working from a mental list - her brother, Daddy, Grammy, Poppa, Gammy, Poppy, three real and two sort-of cousins, two uncles, and one kind-of aunt - and she ticked them off faster than I ever though possible.

Right off the hop she picked out something for herself. I was worried that she had completely missed the point of our expedition, but it was a little pink and purple stool, and she picked out a blue and red one for Jr at the same time. They like to watch us cook from countertop level, but have recently been spending most of the time fighting over whose white chair is whose. Problem solved by the preschooler.

(If you're wondering where the infamous kitchen stool went, it was banished to the basement when it A got peed on, B got fought over constantly, and C was starting to pose a very real risk of dismemberment.)

Poppa was next on the list, and she picked out a blue wormy looking thing for washing his car. Entirely appropriate for the man who (I think) coined the phrase, "A clean car has class".

For Grammy, the gardener, whose green thumb turned black when it was passed along to me, a flower pot. For two (sort-of) girl cousins, matching mugs. On it went, with pretty good choices given her age, until she reached her uncles - for one, a cupid statue. Actually, perfect.

For the other, little fake birds. Also perfect. Gammy and Poppy almost received gaily decorated toilet plungers, but at the last minute she changed her mind and got them both advent calendars.

When we got to the cashier, she reached deep into her pocket, pulled out the toonie, and placed it very solemnly on the counter.

It was ignored.

So - watching the cashier silently the entire time - she reached up and wordlessly pushed it closer to her.

Where it continued to be ignored, but was scooped back into my pocket in a brief moment when Miss wasn't looking, so she still thinks she paid.

It. Was. Awesome.

I hope we do it every year.

Jr? He came with me later to The Bulk Barn, and helped with stocking stuffers by trying really hard not to touch anything. Maybe next year he can pay.

December 22, 2011

Christmas Cartoons With The New Girl

Let's begin today's Holiday installment of Work Cartoons With The New Girl by showing you what I got her for Christmas:

The flyleaf of the notebook went a little something like this: "Draw me more cartoons. Also, your mother says she wants her necklace back. Merry Christmas."

If that doesn't scream holiday spirit, then I don't know what does.

For my gift giving efforts, I was rewarded with this, which I'd like to pass along to you, and dedicate especially to sassymonkey and Leslie who came up with the idea in the first place. Except for the necklace and the full-size loaf of cinnamon swirl bread, which were mine. Of course.

December 21, 2011

Memories...Of Cinnamon Swirl Bread (Recent)

Remember that thing about me where I bake bread, except I don't because I've been too busy growing a baby and taking care of the two other ones and working full time?

And remember how much I love Kristen's Oatmeal Cinnamon Swirl Bread, and made it for Mr's clients last year as part of the super-duper awesome Christmas baskets that are only a vague memory now, and more unlikely to happen than me sprouting a palm tree from my left ear?

Do you also remember that I had one almost completely together for our midwife-extraordinaire, who at today's appointment requested the inclusion of the phrase "my cavity has been stuffed with baby" into today's post, but who never received a Christmas basket from us last year mostly because I am a Terrible Person?

Well. Here's what I have to say about that:

Yeah. That's right. I finally made some (awesome) bread, and that last loaf on the end - yes, the wonky one - went to our lovely Sarah today.

Whew. Only a year late. Not too shabby...

Tomorrow, an extra special installment of Work Cartoons With The New Girl. I know, I can't wait either.

This time last year: The Big Question

December 20, 2011

An Easy, Possibly Last Minute, Homemade Christmas Present For Anyone

Seriously. For anyone.

And easy? Couldn't be easier.

I can also attest to this gift's enthusiastic reception by two seven year olds, a ten year old, and a thirteen year old. (The thirty-three year old - Mr - was almost as enthusiastic with one caveat: "it should have gummies".) I can imagine that you could customize this gift sufficiently to please even a gluten free, lactose-intolerant vegan, and that's saying something.

What is this easy, awesome, (possibly last minute) universal homemade gift, you ask?

A make your own sundae kit, that's what.

Imagine you open your enormous gift box, and see this:

And inside all of those little tissue papers are things like this:

Things like chocolate mint chips, silver dragees, crushed peppermints, peanuts, skor toffe bits, chocolate balls, and peanut butter chips, as well as chocolate shell sauce, hot fudge, butterscotch sauce, and waffle bowls.

Or things like - whatever you can think of, really. For Mr, I suppose, there would be gummis. For the lactose-intolerant, gluten-free vegan...uh...I'd have to do some research. But this gift strikes me as infinitely customizable.

So let's return to the box-opening, tissue-parting, gift-discovering scenario, then.

Would you be happy? Would you be excited to make your sundae, or just dive into the toppings and forget the ice cream?

(Hint: the answer is yes.)

This time last year: Bloody Christmas

December 19, 2011

Project Grocery: Short And Sweet

It was Christmas One yesterday, and therefore I am tired, stuffed, and tired - if I didn't mention that already. Here's the miserly post I have for you:

$88.50 for chips for the babysitter Saturday night (thanks again, Elsa!), prime rib for Christmas Two, ice cream as part of a wicked awesome present I'm going to tell you about tomorrow, and yes, you're right, eagle eyes.

More ground beef.

December 17, 2011

Lannis: Words Of Wisdom

Okay. I don’t have an anecdote or silly story to tell today, but I have a present for everyone just the same.

Wisdom. Perhaps a touch of much-needed mental breathing room?

Regardless of whether you’re decking your halls in anticipation of a birthday that happened over two thousand years ago, or (secularly) for a fat guy to break into your house because he’s been watching your kids all year (yeah, because that’s not creepy at all), or well... I’d touch on other celebrations but I’m going to err on the side of “I don’t celebrate it, so I won’t mock it” because I’m friendly (read: ignorant) like that...

Anyhow, point being: for whatever reason, there seem to be plenty of reasons for people to get-together this time of year. In Canada we call it “keeping warm.”

A lot of us will be seeing family soon, be it our family by blood, or the one by choice. And we all know what happens when you get a lot of people together with different opinions, philosophies... perhaps a little alcohol poured in there, too...

Yeah. Shit show, ahoy.

So. In the interest of keeping our lovely family here at The Mrs aneurysm-free over the holiday season, I give to you some words of wisdom.

This is in our main floor bathroom. Because everyone needs to see it.


Everyone who comes into my house long enough to use the bathroom, that is.

I’ll admit I need the daily reminder. Thanks to the copious amounts of tea I drink, I receive this reminder often.

My sanity — and my blood pressure — are much better since I hung this handy sign. (Psst — someone posted it on Pinterest and you know how we feel about Pinterest around here.)

But, if this mental mantra doesn’t work — because not everything works for everyone — I give to you —

(Are you ready?




Like, seriously ready?)


Or, well, pieces of people, I suppose... written in zombie font.

And if visualization’s your thing, might I suggest imagining any aggravating offenders (offending aggravators?) you meet over the holidays as participants in said font?

If that doesn’t work, there’s always defenestration...

Merry, merry, and all that jazz from the Lannis Clan!

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.

December 16, 2011

Food Waste Friday: You're Welcome

So in this week's Project Grocery post, you saw how much ground beef we bought - and you are excused from remembering that I purchased a similar amount of ground beef not two weeks earlier, since due to laziness I never showed you the picture.

The early ground beef? Turned grey. In the package. Within a few days of buying it. We did not eat it.

I blame myself, because I really did mean to divvy it up into the smaller portions that we'd use for tacos, shepherd's pie, and all other things ground beefy, but didn't. Due to laziness.

I don't have a picture for you. Could still be the laziness talking. But if my laziness could talk, I imagine it would say a little something like this:

"You're welcome. You're welcome a lot."

Because my laziness did you such a favour, I thought I'd show you a little boy chewing on a monkey's face instead.

(Food Waste Friday is graciously hosted by Kristen at The Frugal Girl)

This time last year: The Ugly Kitchen

December 14, 2011

Good Night God

So Miss and I have started reading what she calls The God Book before bed. Jr is about up to toddling around babbling indecipherable things about cookies and teeth at this stage of his little life, but Miss has been listening very intently.

I love The God Book (which in reality is The Jesus Storybook Bible) - and not just because I received it as a gift and it was therefore free.

No, the reason I love this book is that, instead of just retelling stories from the Bible as stories, the authors continuously return to the underlying narrative of the whole story - the one that starts with Jesus at The Beginning and ends with Jesus at The End.

Miss likes to flip through the book when we've read whatever chapter we're on, and has recently become very anxious to get to the part about the big stinky fish, which apparently has very compelling illustrations.

I'm very anxious to get to the "He's Here!" chapter - which I've only just realized will happen all by itself on Christmas Eve, just by going along at our current pace.

Tonight, our reading culminated in this, as she was walking upstairs to go to bed:

"Good night, book. Good night, big stinky fish. Good night God."

Oh, lordy.

This time last year: To Do...Ta Dah!

December 13, 2011

Me, My Mom, And Betty Crocker

Leslie's cookie post made me think about my Betty Crocker cookbook - the same eye-searingly orange edition that we all have (apparently).

So did the bank. See, I had foolishly volunteered to be part of a Friday bake sale we were holding, not fully realizing that this would entail baking. By me. On a weeknight.

When the time came to think about the baking (ie. Thursday night), I realized that I had not thought about it, and so resorted to the old stand-by that even my mother-in-law has complimented (score!): Betty's gingerbread cookies, or gingermen, as I've learned is the correct pronounciation.

[begin tangent]

When Mr and I got married, I asked my mom for a whole bunch of family recipes, and the one she gave me for gingerbread cookies goes like this: "Open your Betty Crocker cookbook to page 124 (<---not the actual page number; am too lazy to go look for it. And that's me speaking, not my mother.) and follow the instructions".

Except at the time I only had the new, red, modern version that is boring. Which is why this edition, when she gave it to me at one of my numerous wedding showeres, is so precious.


I must admit that I've not cooked much else from this cookbook, partly because of the spectacularly bad food photography, which is still better than mine and even less appetizing, if you can believe it.

I feel the need to illustrate this point:

 Okay, granted, it's fruitcake. But still.

I'm not sure how an enormous hunk of prime rib can look so wrong...

Oh. My. Lord. If I ever have a Christmas party, anyone who can (and will) make one of these can take home anything of mine that they want. No questions asked.

It's called "Petals 'n Pickles". That is all.
[end tangent]

The gingermen, however, are appetizing. Mostly because I've eaten them before, which I can proudly NOT say of "Petals 'n Pickles", so I know they're good.

Hey, is that a (poorly executed) picture of food? On THIS blog? You've got to be kidding me...

This time last year: Project Grocery (the first)

December 12, 2011

Project Grocery: This Post Has No Subtitle, But It Should Be Something About The Mono

Just realized I paid my Bell bill to the wrong account number. So that'll be fixed six months from now, right?


In other news, still no word on the mono. I'm hoping it turns out to be leprosy, which I could much more easily handle.

In still more news, we managed to stay under budget at the grocery store, despite planning on meals like "lasagna from the box" and "whatever we can make in under a minute". Because of the mono, right?

Oh yeah. And apparently just a tiny little bit of ground beef. I may or may not explain that on Friday. Depends on the mono.

That up there is $86.54 out of the old bank account. Not too shabby.

And while I was taking pictures of that, my son was going through my folding basket, and decided that his sister's underwear was the one accessory that would truly make his outfit.

I agree.

December 10, 2011

Lannis: Like Magic

This week my baby turned six. SIX!

Yeah. This guy.

Though he doesn’t look quite like that, anymore. A little bigger. Ridiculously thick, shaggy, sandy-blond hair (thanks to Mr Lannis’ genes), and dark lashes (thanks to mine).

I used to think he was pretty opinionated back when he was tiny -- what with his middle-of-the-night feedings, lack of toileting skills, and general misreading of social situations (it’s probably never kosher to play in the Holy water at church, but thanks for trying...).

As it turns out he was pretty easygoing. See how he’s in yellow? Yeah, it probably wouldn’t fly now.

Nope. This year marks the first year he’s requested specifics for his birthday party.

No easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy-cookie-cutter-McDonalds-party for me. No sir-ee.

He wanted his party at home. And he wanted it a certain way.

He wanted a theme.

A Lego theme.

Yep. So I did what any good momma with oodles of time on her hands (or excellent productive procrastination skills) would do -- my absolute best to give my birthday boy what he wanted!

We invited his friends. He had opinions on the guest list, too, what with being a Big Kid in grade one and all, I couldn’t blame him.

He wanted a piñata pin-na-na (<-- his word)... Done!

 He wanted certain kids...

Done! He wanted a Lego “game” for party guests to play. An unspecified game, so I went with a homemade “pin the head on the Lego man -- instant classic, if I do say so myself...

Done! (Yes, that’s Mr Lannis’ toque he uses for hunting Bambi. Don’t panic -- it reverses to blaze orange. Hasn’t been shot in the head once yet!) And, the pièce de résistance, my now-six-year-old wanted a Lego cake!

Please excuse the ugly photography. Those’re fondant Lego bricks you can see peeking around the edges. They marginally resemble Legos, too, I swear.

Lucky for me, for this six year old, I can still deliver on most -- if not all -- promises.

As parents, it’s easy to dwell on the days to come where that won’t exactly be possible. They’re on the horizon, those days when our actions will be met with scrutiny and skepticism, instead of faithful delight.

But for right now, I have one kid who’s six years from being my baby, and another six years from being almost a teen...

And I’m still magical.

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.

December 9, 2011


Man cold

The flu?

Strep, for sure.

Possibly mono.

v ilhhyegfhjujujujujujujujujujujujujujujujudfg   <--- My face hitting the keyboard.

This time last year: Poop And Discouragement

December 8, 2011

Plan Bean: November Update

How about this, folks?

Here's the monthly budget for Plan Bean, in case you don't remember:

Groceries: $520
Gas: $173.33
Date: $40
Other: $325

And here's what really happened:

Groceries: $405.68 (-$114.32) YAY!
Gas: $277.36 (+$104.03) I have some excuses!
Date: $0 (-$40) I'm changing this!
Other $799.49 (+$474.49) More excuses! Legitimate ones! According to me!

You see, there were two trips to Pennsylvania in November, both of which were expected, so (since I'm the boss of this money show) I'm taking them out of the equation.


Other: $385.25 (+$60.25)

There was also a work-related cartoon trip to North Bay, for which I will be reimbursed some mileage, to the tune of a hundred bucks or so.


Gas: $177.36 (+40.30)

And since I'm throwing therefores around like they're candy at the Santa Claus parade,


What are we going to do with our enormous surplus, you manage to ask, once the ringing in your ears calms down? We're going to carry it forward and put it towards avoiding the dreaded overdraft in December.

And the neglected date night? We had three in November, we just didn't happen to go anywhere for them, and (like October) I never bothered to separate out the expenses. Lazy? Yes. Delicious? Also yes.

Hm. That sounded strange.

See me care.

More Plan Bean:
September Update
October Update

This time last year: Library Time

December 7, 2011


BREAKING NEWS: Peer pressure works!

Right now - as I type - my daughter is in bed without her nimmie. So is my son. (I'm running out of ways to emphasize things. If this goes on much longer, I'm going to have to animate the words and put blinking lights around them circa the 1998 Interweb - remember that?)

Pause. I need to calm down. It's just not right to be this excited about something so inconsequential (Keep in mind, you're talking to the girl who looks forward to tax time and new Terry Pratchett books. Adjust your expectations accordingly.)

And to be perfectly honest, it never really bothered me that she had it. Like I said when Stephanie graciously let me guest post at Momma Be Thy Name, I have no pressing dental, medical, or even ideological reason for wanting Miss to get over her nimmie. I just figured it would happen eventually.

Because of the gross-ness.

Yesterday, Diana at Hormonal Imbalances posted Should My 2 Year Old Still Have A Pacifier, and when she wrote that her pediatrician told her “We don’t do pacifiers and you need to throw it away immediately." it made me want to encourage Miss to keep hers until she's sixteen in solidarity. The nerve!

But when bedtime came, and Mr and I realized that if we can get Jr to go to sleep now - when he's still completely confined to his crib and can't jump out of bed every six seconds - without his nimmie, we'll be years ahead when the time comes to graduate him to a big boy bed. So we hid it.

And it worked.

And then tonight, I mentioned (totally in passing and not at all in an attempt to make her copy him) to Miss that Jr was such a big boy now that he didn't need his nimmie anymore. Two minutes later, she said she didn't want hers anymore either.

Everybody hold your breath. Not that I care or anything.

This time last year: Beet Massacre

December 6, 2011

Project Grocery: In Which I Make Up For Last Week, In More Ways Than One

Right, so last week - in case you don't have room in your memory for all the trivial details of my life - I shopped for groceries hours after returning home from Thanksgiving in Pennsylvania at four in the morning. I must have looked high.

Needless to say (but apparently I'm saying it anyway), I did not capture my groceries on film, although I did manage to come in deliriously under budget at $105.71.

I made up for it this week. Crappit!

Positive: Took a picture.

Negative: Spent $138.05. On cat food, kitty litter, and disposable wipes for daycare, mostly. The rest of it was for real menu items, like nachos, breakfast for dinner, hamburgers, and pork tenderloin sandwiches.

Oh, and butter, which - clearly - is included in the "real menu items" category, and not in the "things I buy but grumble about" one.

Positive: all in all, it evens out.

Negative: I got a phone call today from a 414 area code - completely unknown to me, is it Mars? - from someone with one of those disguised mechanical voice things on asking me what was for dinner and if there were meat and onions, and - I think - stomach fat involved.

This could also be viewed as a positive, if you like weird stories to tell, which I clearly do not.

(Oh my lord, don't you know me at all?!)

This time last year: This Blogging Thing... (Oh look, two days in and I was already complaining about not having any time. Awesome.)

December 5, 2011

This Time Last Year

I can say that, because as of today, there was such a thing as "this time last year" here at The Mrs.

This time last year, we had just come back from getting our Christmas tree...

Wouldn't you know it? December 5th looks a lot alike this year...

Happy Anniversary to us! Thanks for sticking around for a whole year...maybe someday I'll give you something, instead of just promising Maple Candy.

This time last year: The. First. Post.

December 3, 2011

Lannis: Blackmail the Second - A Song by Dictation

So, so awesome.

* * *
Yep. It’s exactly how it sounds.

My youngest is a performer at heart. Loves to sing, loves to dance, loves attention in any form, really.

And recently, he honoured me, serenading me as he lay on his back on the floor fiddling with his action figures. As he sang, he stood, threw his head back, and began belting out his impromptu lyrics at the window.

So I did what any good blackmail-collecting parent would do — I grabbed the camera, then began transcribing, so I could share it with you all.

No, I’m not claiming it makes sense (I gave up looking for sense long ago). And I’m sure this transcription isn’t nearly as entertaining as the actual performance, and I’m missing the first verse or two, but I hope you enjoy it nonetheless! Ha!

Bakugans, Bakugans don’t exist
because that girl isn’t my wife
red and green and yellow
planes are green and yellow
in green and yellow and red apples

In one minute
it will be a patter-erns
red, blue, yellow
because this is the patter-ern I picked
sometimes it’s fast, it’s slow, it’s light, it’s dead
Bakugans, Bakugans don’t exist
she’s not my wife

Girls don’t have rocks
and the boys don’t have rocks
that girl will be mine
that will not be in one minutes
Bakugans, Bakugans don’t exist

Get that thing before it does
never fall because I do to you

[4.5 yr old: Mommy, it’s a long song.
Me: Yes. I’m noticing this.]

Don’t look at me
I say sometimes it’s laugh or low
and sometimes it matches
Bakugans, Bakugans don’t exist

[Now with more gusto!—]

Girls do all day!
In one minute
Why? Why? In one minute!
Never on fire!
I’m back,
but I still have green eyes

And the guy says
I only like red eyes
in one minute
I will have a black tail


Bakugans, Bakugans don’t exist!

4.5 year old [stops singing]: Mommy, do you like my song?
Me: Yes. I loved it.
4.5 year old [grins]: I knew you would.

I love my kids.

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.