Hold your breath. Just for a minute, I promise.
For this minute, this is true:
It isn't true anymore. I'm no longer exactly in first place in our fantasy football league. But I'm close.
And I DID clinch the very first playoff spot, so I have that going for me, which makes me feel pretty awesome - or would, if "feelings" and "fantasy football" could co-exist in the same universe. (They can't.)