August 17, 2011

Backyard DIY: The Rot That Will Not Speak It's Name

That's right, rot.

As in: "Oh, look! Our tomato plants have gone crazy and look at how many tomatoes we're going to have, let's panic and start looking for tomato recipes because we'll never eat them all!"

As in: "Look, there's a whole bunch over here!"

As in: "Ooooh, these ones are red!"

As in: "What on earth is this?! And why is it on every red tomato?!"

It so happens that one of my new favourite bloggers, The Tasty Cheapskate, has this affliction too. And it's Tomato Bum Rot.

Bum Rot. Do you not just want to collar strangers on the street to tell them about Bum Rot?

Of course, the first thing I did when I found out  - early Sunday morning - was to tell my brother, because that's what brothers were made for, wasn't it? To say Bum Rot to, and make jokes about Bum Rot, and tell your three year old daughter to say Bum Rot and laugh like hyenas because it sounds so funny coming out of her mouth?

And then, after hanging up the phone, I realized that Miss will never. stop. saying. Bum Rot.

Never, ever.

Especially not after having her be the one to tell Mr (also hilarious).

All Sunday - that glorious Sunday that really was pretty perfect in every way - she talked about Bum Rot. And, I must admit, it made me laugh every time, although by now that shouldn't surprise you.

There's only one good thing about laboriously digging up your backyard, moving a ridiculous amount of dirt around, carefully choosing and planting tomato seeds, lovingly nurturing the seedlings, proudly planting them in your new garden, and then watching your much-anticipated harvest succumb to what is - essentially - Food Waste on a massive, uncontrollable scale.

And that is the fact that the affliction is called Bum Rot.

And - no word of a lie - when Miss went to bed on Sunday night, the last wail out of her little room as we headed down the stairs was not "Don't forget your wallet", but "Buuummmm Rooooottttttt!"

Can't wait to see what keywords find this post.