July 2, 2011

Lannis: Pictorial Math

Here she is again, folks: my right hand blogger and friend...(drumroll)...Lannis! Surprise!
And while you're reading this, we - in fact - will be living the high life together at her house. 

Yes, today is the day of our long-overdue (think two years) visit. She and Mr Lannis are feeding us steak. 

We are feeding them salad. I think I know who the winners of this deal are.

* * *

Today’s post is a Lannis Pictorial. Yep. Pictorial math! Even better, right?

(It's okay, my oldest is in senior kindergarten, so I don't know what it means, either.)

All I know is I have pictures, and I have math.

Math and I? Not the best of friends. Calculator is a better member of my support system than math, and I don’t have a lot of patience for things I don’t get along well with... like stupid people. And math.

Math and I parted ways a while back. I may have been a snob to math, math may have been a snob to me...

(Two kids, both ten days overdue? That’s not nine months, folks, that’s almost nine and a half, regardless of what the doctor and calendar say. And just ask The Mrs how long it took her to convince me to download a program to do my taxes FOR me. Let’s just say tax season was almost over, and leave it at that).

Sorry, I have a habit of digressing. Maybe a lot. Probably.

Okay. Pictures. Picture #1. This makes me happy!

Except—and here comes that pesky math—those’re two almost-full clotheslines, and that was one load from my washer. There are four members in my family (seven if you count the pets, and it’s hairball season, so technically the cats are contributing to the laundry...).

For those of you having trouble following, the math goes something like this:

4 people + 2 cats = WAY MORE THAN ONE WASHER LOAD!

See? Pretty simple.

And if it’s more than one washer load, my poor little tandem lines are screwed. Okay, maybe not screwed, so much as busy. And I love line dried laundry. If I use my space conservatively, I can get three loads on those lines...

Until this happened.

What the—?

Apparently Mother Nature doesn’t like line dried laundry. Go figure. I wouldn’t have guessed it, myself. Especially with the Time of Use billing from the Hydro company. You’d think she’d be all for it.

But you know how I know she’s not? Because that singular branch held our entire town’s allotment of teeny green buggies.

Not anymore, though. Nope. Now they’re in my house! Whee! (Raise your hand if you can spot the sarcasm.)

Mr Lannis bore witness to the swarm when he valiantly came to my rescue. I’d forgotten he could dance so well!

I ::coughcough:: may have neglected to mention we were displacing our community’s worth of Green Lacewings.

(From my research I’ve discovered they’re beneficial, and people pay for them. Not kidding. Okay, granted, perhaps not for this exact experience, but whatever...)

You want to know how else I know Mother Nature’s not down with line-dried laundry?

These guys. And it’s fitting that I could only get a shot of their bums, because frankly, their bums keep taking shots at me. Or rather, my laundry.

You can’t always soak that shit out! (Sorry, it was appropriate contextually, haha! and I have issues with impulse control.)

Anyhow, I can’t wait for the hatchlings to move out.

The birds’. And some days, mine, too.

Because two fewer family members looks like this, in math terms:

4 people - 2 people + 2 cats = a hell of a lot less laundry

Hm. Maybe math *is* my friend.

Until I remember I have at the very least a dozen more years before the boys are even remotely close to being ready to leave the proverbial nest. Math my friend? Nah. Nope. Nevermind. What was I thinking?!

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.