March 22, 2011

Guest Post: A Day in the Life of Lannis

I'm such a peeper - and desperately curious to see how other people use up their day. So my friend Lannis (she of the marble run, still one of the most popular posts here at The Mrs) has graciously offered up her life for my inspection...and yours. 

What can I say? I read vicariously through her, and she blogs vicariously through me. Enjoy.

Oh yes, and I want to know about YOURS too. Someday, I hope to have a whole collection up here that I can page through.

Yes, I know how creepy that sounds.

* * *

Howdy folks, Lannis here (again). The Mrs hollered for day-in-the-life posts, and once I stopped procrastinating remembered, I scrawled my day onto a scrap of notebook paper for your perusal. Hope you’re excited by tedium... it’s long. And I have no shame -- hence it’s all here. (By the way, it’s your turn next.) Cheers!

7:11 - Wake; lay in bed and praise Daylight Savings -- it’s both sunny and after 7am and I’m still in bed!

7:31 - Hear boys whining; must get up now; wash face, brush teeth, get dressed, put on invisible referee jersey.

7:40 - Start kettle for tea; get boys juice; feed everyone (including cats, excluding myself). Turn on laptop.

7:46 - Pour kettle water into teapot; field shapes discussion with almost-four-year-old (yes, yes, stars are cool).

7:49 - Check email and Facebook newsfeed; begin the blog trawl.

7:57 - Get five-year-old a second helping of breakfast.

8:04 - Pour first mug of tea (giant mug); and put on kettle for second pot (if you’re a squeamish-short-steep-tea-drinker, I apologize--this post will torture you).

8:06 - TV on for kids... DVD: I Spy

8:10 - Get paper, stickers and markers for boys -- craft time starts early today -- TV off. (See trend? They’ve already abandoned the TV because they know they can watch it anytime... muahahaha!)

8:13 - Argue with almost-four-year-old that, no, he’s doing a pee pee dance, not a boogie dance.

8:15 - Realize I still haven’t finished the blog trawl, or the first tea; turn TV back on at boys’ polite request.

8:16 - Sit, morbidly mesmerized, by almost-four-year-old attempting to memorize every word from the movie by anticipating lines from the characters -- his success thus far is impressive (and more than a little disturbing).

8:23 - Hand out more construction paper (keep the masses happy); second mug of tea; start second pot of tea steeping; grab banana for breakfast.

8:32 - Remind cat she shouldn’t be drinking water out of the container in the sink. She disagrees. Remind her Mr Lannis hates her drinking from sink. She is unimpressed with my arguments, as only a cat can be.

8:34 - Sit back down at laptop; listen to almost-four-year-old sing the ABCs; scan the Twittersphere.

8:38 - Begin listening to a new episode of Writing Excuses; immediately pause podcast to referee kids at craft table. Final warning. Next is the dreaded Time Out.

8:39 - Start playing mindless game online while listening to podcast (and kids).

8:40 - Pause podcast to listen to almost-four-year-old tell me about his picture (“The R is Princess Leia, and the three is Skywalker, and the eight is Dark Vader”); restart podcast.

8:48 - Pause podcast; listen to five-year-old discuss his sticker art (“it’s a monster eating walnuts”); restart.

8:49 - Pause podcast; field almost-four-year-old’s annoyance with episode two of I Spy being watched instead of episode three (picture him: huddled, ready to unleash The Ugly Cry -- my response? “If it’s that upsetting, go upstairs and cry on your bed, or we can just turn the TV off.” No. He’s fine. Of course.)

8:51 - Get juice for boys; have cats perform for treats; get third mug of tea; wash a couple of dishes leftover from last night (hubby did cleanup--he lets things soak, I let him let things soak, the alternative -- dried-on resentment --is worse).

9:05 - Finally finish the podcast. They have a great slogan: “Fifteen minutes long, because you’re in a hurry, and we’re not that smart.” Yes. These men have children.

9:07 - Email my cousin; tell boys to stop running in the house (cars are racing); turn off TV (nobody’s watching); tell boys to keep their hands to themselves.

9:13 - Finish email to cousin (we’re chatty); attempt to finish blog trawl.

9:15 - Bargain with boys to clean toy area in exchange for getting out Lego bin (read: ginormous tub full); go to bathroom to discover a zealous little man has managed to pee all down the side of the toilet; clean entire bathroom (it’s a 2 piece).

9:38 - Pour fourth tea; ready third pot; eat banana; check to see just how long The Mrs’ day-in-the-life post was... oy...

9:40 - Get boys the Lego bin for successfully tidying up; pray I’ll understand my day-in-life shorthand later...

9:41 - Begin email of book recommendations at the request of a friend.

9:51 - Find broken menu links for reviews on Post Whatever. Email admin.

10:05 - Almost-four-yr-old waited too long to go pee. Get him cleaned up and new clothes, wipe down bathroom (again); referee naked boy in living room (read: naked Time Out for not listening).

10:15 - Fifth tea; send email of book list; copy and paste list into sticky on desktop.

10:17 - Help boys with their Lego building. Offer to read book -- nope. Lego too addictive.

10:40 - Open windows/blinds for sunshine throughout house; find basket of clean (unfolded) laundry in closet (hidden from generous babysitting grandparents last weekend); fold and put away; go on laundry hunt to ambitiously do load at night during cheap time to keep up (read: to prevent laundry backlog on weekend -- yes, we have the same Time of Use schedule as the Mrs).

11am - Write dual belated-thank-you/birthday card to my uncle (belated thanks for housewarming gift weeks ago, not belated birthday); find manilla envelope for organizing income tax stuff -- fill with paperwork left on counter to die (sorry, Mrs, not everyone is as excited as you are for tax season!).

11:15-11:50 - Make lunch for boys; put frozen turkey breast plus onion soup mix into slow cooker (voila! dinner’s almost done); nuke can of soup for my lunch; sweep kitchen to clear aftermath of craft time/sticker party; empty dishwasher; put on new pot of tea; eat soup.

12:05: Boys are playing Lego (again); finish tidying kitchen and pour tea; read.

12:21 - Read story to boys -- two kids squeezed into my lap.

12:30 - Clip boys’ fingernails and toenails; gather gear to give boys haircuts.

12:45 - Get five-year-old into the haircutting chair.

1:20 - Praise almost-four-year-old for industriously cleaning up water he spilled. 
1:21 - Get almost-four-year-old into haircutting chair.

1:58 - Change out of house clothes; get boys ready to go to store for gummies (AKA: the bribery reward for sitting well for haircuts).

2:08 - Finally get in van.

2:08- 2:57 - Buy gummies (also: sour cherries, fuzzy peaches, gummy worms, gummy snakes, and salt water taffy--who stupidly decided to go to Bulk Barn?); take van for automatic car wash (while eating candy, naturally); get home; attempt to get kids to play outside (no chance); change back into house clothes; turn on laptop.

3pm - Check email; do survey from hotel stay last weekend; do online survey for research company.

3:14 - Read while kidlets play Lego.

3:35 - Mr Lannis is home from work! Yay! 
3:43 - Mr Lannis takes boys for a walk; I go for a shower - a nice, long, undisturbed shower!

4:10 - Begin the rest of dinner (peel potatoes and squash, cook frozen peas, and boxed stuffing); talk to my auntie on the phone.

5pm - The menfolk return! Get five-year-old to clear table and put out water for two boys.

5:10 - Sit to eat.

5:45 - Boys clear their plates from the table; I wash most of the dishes; let some soak.

6pm - Sit down at laptop; write notes for this post; read; listen to Mr Lannis playing Lego with boys. (Yes. Lego. Yes. Again. There’s a reason we have a giant tub.)

6:35 - Mr Lannis leaves for Karate.

6:45 - Tidy and vacuum living room.

7pm - Cut pears for boys’ bedtime snack, turn on TV to wind down for bedtime.

7:06 - Check Twitterverse and FB newsfeed (and sneak some salt water taffy pieces).

7:26 - TV off, brush teeth, PJs, story, bed time! Yay! 
7:47 - TV on (grownup shows!).

7:49 - Shut down financial rep who calls following up the Welcome Wagon visit (we’re new to the area). I’m not a Tele-marketer’s friend. What part of “if I wanted your product, I’d already have it” is hard to understand?

8pm - Watch TV (nothing decent is on -- boo); attempt to decipher my day-in-the-life shorthand.

8:50 - Mr Lannis is back from Karate!

9pm - Disappointment with what’s on cable TV, turn it off to read. Mr Lannis turns it back on.

9:40 - Bedtime; wash face, brush teeth, change into PJs. Relax into my awesome body pillow (which Mr Lannis has dubbed my “boyfriend” -- Mr Lannis is not a snuggler. I am a compromiser.)

9:41 - Realize I have to decipher the rest of the shorthand for this frakking post. Realize it’s for the Mrs. I heart the Mrs... it’ll be okay. Probably. Of course. Never mind.

Occasional poster at The Mrs, I'm Lannis - or Leslie, depending on which circles you're swimming. A while ago I decided that I don't care anymore, hence my general standards for life are lower than The Mrs' (but she still loves me.) [Editor: I do]

I live in a small town with my favourite people: my husband, Mr Lannis, and our two boys, along with two cats and one hamster.

If you follow me on Twitter, you might witness my issues with linear thought, road rage, spending more money on food than books, and potty mouth. Be warned.